Often a controversial topic, seeing a sex worker is just one way a person can seek to have their sexual needs met. Tips and information to guide you here.

A man and a lady sitting in separate wheelchairs sharing an intimate moment kissing

Often a controversial topic, seeing a sex worker is just one way a person can seek to have their sexual needs met.  

Every person, with any sort of disability is a sexual being and nobody should be denied the opportunity to have a consensual, intimate time with another person. Sometimes if that individual is not in a relationship and they want to have sex, then seeing a sex worker could be the best way for them. It is okay for a person to see a sex worker if they want to.

Where to get help

If you, or someone you care for would like to see a sex worker but you are unsure where to find one, talk to someone they trust or a support person.

Touching Base is an organisation that can help a person with disability see a sex worker. They have a list of sex workers who provide services to people with disability. For more information go to the fact sheet called ‘Where to go for help and advice’.

Touching Base also has two stories about seeing a sex worker. They are called ‘Tony sees a sex worker’ and ‘Anna sees a sex worker’. For more information go to the factsheet called ‘Resources’

Top 10 Tips when seeing a Sex Worker

The following are some tips for a person with disability to follow if they have made an appointment to see a sex worker:

  1. Be polite and respectful
  2. Have a shower to make your body fresh and clean. Don’t be offended if the worker checks you for infections, or asks you to shower
  3. Don’t be too intoxicated on drugs or alcohol
  4. Make sure that both of you agree about the service. Be clear about what you want, and find out what the price for that is
  5. Recognise that each sex worker has their own limits. For example, kissing on the mouth may not be possible
  6. Always use a condom or dam for vaginal and oral contact. For anal contact use an extra sturdy condom. Always use lots of lube too. Sex workers are experts in safe sex satisfaction and afterwards it will be the sex, not the condom you remember!
  7. Be relaxed. Sex is the most normal thing in the world. Do not expect too much and keep your head. It is not a love affair and however pleasant the contact is, remember it is a professional service
  8. Your visit may not be perfect. You may be unfamiliar with each other. Take this into account and don’t expect too much. Remember, you can always shop around next time
  9. If a disagreement does arise, remain reasonable and keep things in perspective. If you think you have a good reason to be dissatisfied, talk to the worker or the management, if appropriate
  10. Be considerate when you leave. Neighbours appreciate their peace and quiet

If you need more information on anything relating to sex, contact IDEAS on 1800 029 904 or visit www.ideas.org.au or contact Family Planning New South Wales on 1300 658 886 or https://www.fpnsw.org.au/

Information sourced from Touching Base website and ‘Seeing a Sex Worker’ Fact Sheet, Family Planning New South Wales.